


Does nobody ask you why?

by AngelOnFire (Katherine3)



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Guardian Angel AU, Guardian Angels, M/M, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-15
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-11-18 07:39:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18116309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katherine3/pseuds/AngelOnFire
Summary: Nathaniel wakes up in a strange room with a strange guy who tells him that from now on he'll be a guardian of six people and that failing is not an option. The task at hand is hard as it is, but it seems to get harder the deeper he gets.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to wait with posting this story, but I'm impatient and chaotic child, so here it is.  
> Let me know if you like it, by leaving kudos and comments, I appreciate them very, very much ❤️
> 
> TW for the chapter: death of main character, I guess.
> 
> If you find anything that should be listed as a trigger warning, let me know. But for now, just enjoy 😊

Nathaniel slowly opens his eyes and blinks at the bright, morning light. He sits up and rubs his eyes with a small groan. He feels as if he just woke up from a very long nap.

When he finally lets his eyes properly open and takes in the surroundings, he can’t help but frown. It doesn’t look like a hotel room. No, it’s a teenager’s bedroom. Posters are hang to the wallpaper with a duct tape, the shelves are full of books and cds, there’s a laptop on a expensive-looking desk. At the same time, though, the room looks empty. There’s no dust, no clothes laying on the floor, even the sheets that Nathaniel is currently laying in seem to be fresh and unused.

What the hell?

Nathaniel instinctively reaches over to his right, but all he can feel is a cold wall. He’s in a single bed. And he’s alone. His next instinct tells him to reach under the pillow and that’s what he does, but he can’t find a gun or a knife there. Just cold sheets.

With a slight rush of panic, Nathaniel pulls away the covers to look at his own body. It looks fairly normal, he has sweatpants and a t-shirt on. His feet are bare. He hates sleeping with bare feet, it’s more convenient to sleep with socks on, in case he’d have to quickly get up, put his shoes on and run. He learned the hard way that running with bare feet in your shoes is less than ideal. Better than running completely barefoot on a gravel road, but still.

Nathaniel puts his feet on the carpet and walks over to the window to look outside. He has no idea what he’s expecting to see, but children running down the street and riding on their bikes, laughing and having fun, was surely not it. All the crappy motels that he stayed in with his mom were either by a highway or in a very unpleasant neighbourhoods, but this looks like a neighbourhood taken straight from a tv show about housewives where everyone is perfect while something else goes on behind the closed door.

Where the hell is he? Where’s his mom? Who’s room is this? and why does it all look so… staged?

“Enjoying the view?” Nathaniel hears a voice and quickly spins around ready to fight the intruder. On the desk chair sits a man more or less his age, his hair black and eyes green. Almost impossibly green. “Hello, Neil”, the man says, before he takes a cup from the desk and takes a sip of whatever is in it, not taking his eyes off of Nathaniel.

“Nathaniel”, he corrects, not taking his eyes off the stranger either. He’s been through enough to know that taking your eyes off someone even for a second might end with a knife being pushed into your stomach.

“Not anymore”, the other says with a shrug, before he puts the cup back to where he took it from, finally taking his eyes off of Nathaniel. Nathaniel’s frown only deepens. Not anymore?

“What’s going on here? Where’s my mother?”, Nathaniel asks, making sure to sound threatening, even though they probably both know he can’t do shit. The stranger seems to be taller than him, Nathaniel can see it even with him sitting down. Besides, Nathaniel isn’t a fighter. There’s no fight-or-flight for him. There’s only flight. There’s only run. Fast. Faster.

∞

“Faster!” Nathaniel can hear his mother yell behind him, “Abram, run!”

Nathaniel turns around in time to see a bullet leave her chest. His mother’s eyes go wide in shock, her body falling to the floor.

“Mom!” Nathaniel yells, but before he can even make his way to her, he can feel something ripping to the flesh of his calf. Burning. Blood starts to pour out before he can even think of what happened. And then he can hear another bang, another bullet goes into his body, this one leaving it. And with it left the air from his lungs.

Nathaniel can feel his body fall to the ground. He tries to say something, to yell for his mother, but he can’t take a breath. There’s something hot and sticky in his throat and then pouring out of his mouth. He’s been shot. He’s dying.

∞

Nathaniel’s hand shoots to his chest when the memory floods through his head. He’s been shot. He should be dead. But there’s no wound in his chest, no pain in his leg. He was dying. He was bleeding out. Pain. And then darkness.

“And there it is”, the stranger says in a calm, almost sad voice.

“What the hell is happening here?” Nathaniel asks, his patients wearing thin.

“The opposite of that, actually”, the man says, getting up to his feet. Nathaniel was right, he is taller. Then again, most men are taller than Nathaniel. “You died. And you’re… well, let’s call it a trial”

“A trial?” Nathaniel asks, as if he’s never heard that word before.

“First things first. My name is Kevin”, the other introduces himself, offering his hand for Nathaniel to shake. He doesn’t. Kevin hums and withdraws it after a few seconds, probably realising he wouldn’t get what he wants from Nathaniel.

“So, you died”, Kevin continued “And since you weren’t the best human being, but also not the worst, you were given a chance to prove yourself worthy of heaven. You’ll be a guardian”

“A guardian angel?” Nathaniel asks in disbelief as he listens to Kevin.

“Excuse me, did you hear me say the word ‘angel’?” Kevin asks, turning his side to Nathaniel and curling his hand behind his ear, as if he wants to better hear Nathaniel’s answer.

Nathaniel rolls his eyes at that “So what am I?”, he asks instead.

Kevin sighs in return, straightening up again and hiding his hands behind his back “A guardian”, he says. He tries to hide the irritation in his voice, but Nathaniel caught it, anyway. “But yes, your thinking is correct, you would be something like a guardian angel. Your task is making sure six people that you’re assigned to find happiness. And when you succeed, you’ll be able to choose one of them as your ward and then continue to be their guardian”

“What if I fail?” Nathaniel asks, completely ignoring how surreal this conversation is. Whatever is happening, he will find out sooner or later, for now he might as well take part in this ridiculousness.

“You won’t” Kevin says through gritted teeth “I am here to make sure you complete your task. If you fail, I fail with you and that is not an option”

“What if, though?” Nathaniel replies, taking a step closer to the other man, watching him carefully. He doesn’t seem to be carrying any weapons. Which is odd, Nathaniel expected him to have at least a gun. Or a knife. Maybe it’s just well hidden.

“If that would happen, which it won’t, you’d be fallen”

“Fallen?” Nathaniel repeats, tilting his head to a side a little bit.

“You’d go to hell, to put it simply. And I’d go with you. So don’t you dare failing” Kevin explains, not even hiding his irritation anymore. “Come on, the day is short and you’ve got a lot to learn” He ads, turning around and making his way to the door.

Wait, why is he turning his back on Nathaniel? Why isn’t he attacking? There’s no way any of this is real, Kevin must be one of his father’s men. What kind of game this is? Nathaniel stares at Kevin’s back for a moment, before he takes another step closer to him.

“You didn’t answer my question, though”

Kevin stops with his hand on the doorknob and turns to face Nathaniel, a small frown present on his face, sending Nathaniel a questioning look.

“Where’s my mother?” Nathaniel repeats the question he didn’t get an answer to. The most important questions of them all.

“Don’t worry about her. She’s… fine” Kevin says, before opening the door. He doesn’t leave, though. He leaves the door wide open and sends Nathaniel an impatient look, clearly waiting for him to lead. As if he knows where he’s going.

Nathaniel sighs, glancing once again around the room. It’s not like he has any other options. He walks over to Kevin, but stops next to him. “I won’t go first”, he says simply. He won’t turn his back on someone he doesn’t know.

Kevin rolls his eyes in response and leaves the room. Nathaniel follows.

The rest of the house looks just as staged as the room. It’s homey, but at the same time untouched. As if the house was brand new. Or fake. Surely fake. He was kidnapped by his father and this is some kind of mind game. It must be. There’s no other way to explain all of this. Kevin’s story is obviously not the real one.

Why does he remember dying, though?

Kevin leads them downstairs and into the living room. He sits down on a couch, before he gestures for Nathaniel to sit beside him. He does. Making sure there’s enough space between them that Kevin wouldn’t be able to hurt him, even with a knife in hand. It’s worse if he has a gun, but Nathaniel is pretty sure that he doesn’t.

“I think the most important thing for us to do, is for you to connect with your wards. After that things should be easier for you. You’ll be able to see where they are. You will feel their feelings if they’re intense enough, so you know if they’re in danger or if something extremely good happens in their lives. You might even gather some information about them” Kevin says, probably thinking that he actually makes sense.

Kevin seems to notice Nathaniel’s confusion, because he sighs, “Basically, you’ll be sensitive to their thoughts and feelings” He summarises. “Now, close your eyes and focus”

“No.”

“No?”

“I will not close my eyes in front of you” Nathaniel says simply. It should’ve been obvious by now.

Kevin’s expression changes back to irritation for a moment, but he quickly collects himself and takes a calming breath, “Look, Neil-”

“Nathaniel”, he corrects. Again.

“Neil Josten, better get used to that name, because it’s your new identity” Kevin says, through gritted teeth.

Nathaniel just stares back at him. He simply has nothing to say to that, and he’s afraid that a ‘no’ might only make Kevin more pissed. As tempting as it is to just watch Kevin lose his shit, he is defenceless and wouldn’t be able to properly protect himself if Kevin decides to attack after all.

Two minutes pass, Nathaniel counts the ticking of the clock, before Kevin takes his green eyes off him and just looks down at the floor. Then another minute as he takes calming breaths, mumbling something under his breath, that Nathaniel doesn’t understand.

“Look, I know it’s a lot,” Kevin finally says, looking at Nathaniel again “but all I’m saying is true. And I will prove it to you, if I must.” With that he gets up and leaves the room. 

Nathaniel starts to look around. He could get to the door and run away. But what then? He doesn’t know where his mother is and he doesn’t have their duffel bag with them. Bag. All those money. All the contacts. It’s gone.

Before Nathaniel can make a decision, Kevin is back. The blue eyed man looks over at the other when he hears his footsteps getting closer, but freezes when he notices the huge kitchen knife in Kevin’s hand. As Kevin moves closer, Nathaniel jumps up to get away from him. So he was right all along. Apparently Kevin didn’t have a knife on him, he was planning to use one of those kitchen ones all along.

Kevin stops when Nathaniel gets up and watches him in surprise and confusion. Seriously? How could he be surprised and confused about the fact Nathaniel doesn’t want to get stubbed? Kevin sighes and turns the knife in his hand, so the blade is facing him now. He lifts his arm, as if offering the knife to Nathaniel.

Nathaniel watches him, as he slowly takes a step closer to the other man. And then another. And then the last one. Kevin doesn’t even flinch. Nathaniel carefully riches over and grabs the handle of the knife, pulling it out of Kevin’s hand. What he doesn’t expect is for Kevin to actually tighten his grip on the blade, resulting in a smear of blood on the metal and a few more drops of red falling onto the wooden floor. His hiss is so loud the kids that were going past the house earlier probably could hear it.

“Shit” Nathaniel says. He wants to apologize and explain that he had no idea Kevin was going to hold the knife so tight. That he actually didn’t plan to hurt him.

Kevin opens his eyes and then his fist. Nathaniel can see the deep wound and the cut is so deep it probably reaches bone. Nathaniel can feel himself getting sick. That knife must be sharp as hell. And then Kevin’s hand starts to heal. First the flesh, then the skin. And after a few seconds there’s no sign of there ever being a cut.

Before he can think about it, Nathaniel grabs Kevin’s hand and rubs his hand over the skin. Nothing. Not even a scar.

“I’m telling you the truth” Kevin says calmly and Nathaniel raises his wide eyes to look at his face.

Nathaniel swallows hard. Could it be? Is he dead? Is he really supposed to be some kind of guardian angel now?

“I’m not-” Nathaniel starts, but he’s not sure what he should say. What he could say. This is all just so surreal.

“I know it’s all new to you. And I know it’s all scary. I’ve been where you are now, and I’m here to guide you. So don’t worry, let me help you.” Kevin says, finally pulling his hand out of Nathaniel’s grip. “This is important. For me, for you, for them. Most of all for them. When you succeed, for those six people you’ll be like a blessing. You’ll be...”, Nathaniel could see the sparks of amusement light up in Kevin’s green eyes, “a gift, Nathaniel”

Nathaniel couldn’t help but scoff and roll his eyes. Gift of God. Although Nathaniel was pretty sure his father didn’t choose that name for him because of its meaning.

“Okay, I’ll do what you say. But I’m keeping the knife”, he announces, before he makes his way back to the couch and sits down on it. Kevin soon joins him and looks at him expectedly. Nathaniel sighs and finally closes his eyes, his grip on the knife tightening.

“Relax. Focus.” Kevin’s voice is calm as he speaks. Almost soft. “Try to feel the energy that is in your soul. Try to spread it. Let it pool through the city. Let it connect with your wards. Find them.”

At first Nathaniel can’t feel anything. It all seems and feels ridiculous. But then, then… Nathaniel wouldn’t be able to explain if someone asked him what happened. It’s as if a string suddenly appeared. It was silver and glittery. Nathaniel could see it sparkling in the sun. The sun. He’s outside.

There’s a girl leaning against a brick wall. She has a knife in hand and focuses on reflecting sunlight from the blade to keep herself busy. She’s patient. Waiting. Renee. Nathaniel isn’t sure how he knows her name, he just does. He wants to stay there, watch her, but then another string appears. Just as sparkly as the first one. But this one is golden.

A blink later he is in a dark room. A bar maybe? No, more like a club. There is a girl counting money on the counter. She’s tired. Her shift just ended. She must be a waitress. No, she’s not. Nathaniel blinks in confusion as his thoughts mix with facts that just randomly appear in his head. Another girl walks over to Dan and they smile at each other tiredly.

A pull. Nathaniel looks down to see a green string and follows it. Nicky is making a coffee for a client, smile present on his face as he chats with the other man. He’s having a nice day. The sun is shining, he has a shift with his favourite co-worker and he plans to have a nice, relaxing evening when his shift is over. Life seems good for him. Which makes Nathaniel wonder why is he assigned to Nicky. He seems fine.

Blue string appears and Nathaniel decides to follow, even though he actually enjoyed being with Nicky in the coffee shop. But he’s curious. So he follows. A blond boy sits at a dining table, open book in front of him. He’s focused. As Nathaniel looks over his shoulder he can see it’s his biology homework. Aaron wants to be a doctor in the future. Nathaniel can hear music coming up from somewhere upstairs. He is sure he knows that song. He probably heard it in a radio.

Two strings appear at ones. Purple and red. Nathaniel considers which one he should go after first. He decides to go after the purple one and a second later he’s standing in a locker room. There’s a boy sitting on a bench, his leg bouncing up and down. He’s nervous. And tired. Drugs from last night didn’t leave his system yet and he has a boxing match in 20 minutes. Matt. Nathaniel doesn’t want to stay with Matt. He quickly follows the red string.

The song from before is much louder now. A boy that looks exactly like Aaron is sitting on the desk that is pushed to the window, blowing cigarette smoke out of his lungs. And that’s it. Nathaniel can’t feel anything from Andrew. There’s just emptiness. Numbness. Nathaniel swallows hard as he takes a step closer to the boy.

There’s a hand on his shoulder and Nathaniel opens his eyes and blinks slowly. He’s back in the living room, Kevin’s hand on his shoulder. Nathaniel quickly shrugs it off, staring at Kevin.

“You found them” Kevin says, almost proudly.

“I did” Nathaniel confirms with a small nod. So it’s true. He died. He’s a guardian angel now.

Kevin nods, before he gets up from the couch. “Alright, take this day to get to know your surroundings. Your room, our neighbourhood, just anything you like. Tomorrow morning we have classes early”

“Classes?” Nathaniel asks with a frown.

“Yeah, we’re going to school” Kevin says, as if it is an obvious thing. Well, it isn’t.

“What do you mean school?” Nathaniel asks “I thought I’d be like… hovering over them and whisper things to their ears or something”

Kevin grins and shakes his head “Don’t you think that’d be too easy? You need to prove yourself, Neil. You need to prove that you’re worthy of being a guardian angel”

“So there are guardian angels?” Nathaniel asks, not even bothering to correct Kevin anymore.

Kevin rolls his eyes “There are, yes. But you’re not. You will be when you complete your task. As I said, we have classes tomorrow, so take the day to get to know your surroundings” He says, before making his way towards the stairs. “Oh, and if anyone asks, I’m your brother,” Kevin ads over his shoulder, before he starts climbing up.

Nathaniel is left alone in the living room and all he can think about is the emptiness that he felt when he was with Andrew. For most of his life Nathaniel felt fear. Unease. Always on the edge. The numbness was new to him, but also kind of... relieving.

Nathaniel finally gets up from the couch. He can’t fail. He won’t. He’ll help those six people as if his life depended on it. And in a way, he knows that it does.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the amazing IKnowWhoYouAre_Damianos for being a beta for this chapter.  
> You should check their fics as well, they're amazing <3
> 
> TW for the chapter: Blood (not anything drastic, though)
> 
> If you find anything that should be listed as a trigger warning, let me know. But for now, just enjoy 😊

Nathaniel decides to start with getting to know his new room. He walks inside and looks around at an almost perfect place. The only dirty thing is the cup left behind by Kevin. Nathaniel glances to see what the other was drinking earlier. The liquid looks golden, unlike anything Nathaniel has drunk before. He picks the cup up and takes a sniff, but he doesn’t recognize the smell either. For a second he considers taking a sip, but in the end decides against it and puts the cup back down.

He opens the cupboard that’s under the desktop and sees school books on a top shelf and a bag on the bottom one. Nothing interesting. He closes the door and looks up at a bookshelf that stands next to the desk. There’s a lot of novels that he’s only heard of while listening to radio or watching TV in a motel room. He never really got a chance to read while he was on the run. He couldn’t afford being focused enough on something that he might miss someone attacking them. Maybe now he’ll have a chance to read at least some of them.

Nathaniel turns around and walks over to a chest with four drawers and opens the first one. It’s full of t-shirts. Some with bands on them, which is ridiculous, since Nathaniel doesn't know most of them, so he couldn’t possibly wear those. The second drawer is full of socks and underwear. Nathaniel quickly takes one pair of socks and puts them on his bare feet. After that he closes that drawer and opens the next one. Pants. Most of them black and ripped. So impractical. But then again, if everything that Kevin has told him is true, he wouldn’t have to run for his life anymore. So maybe this once? Nathaniel can hear his mom’s voice telling him that he’s being reckless, as he strips off the sweatpants and throws them on the bed. He quickly grabs a pair of black jeans, but hesitates. No, this is risky. No need to take risks. He chooses another black pair; one that doesn’t have holes all over the legs. After putting the pants on, he closes the drawer and opens the bottom one. Shoes. Converse to be exact. Black, red, even yellow. Nathaniel frownes and picks the yellow pair before throwing the shoes into a waste bin standing by the door, one at a time. Never in a million years. He picks the black pair and puts them on. They’re new, like everything else seems to be in the room.

Nathaniel closes the drawer with his foot and opens the top one again, picking up a gray shirt. He throws it on the bed before he takes off the t-shirt he’s been sleeping in and throws it next to his abandoned sweatpants. He grabs the gray t-shirt again and is about to pull it on, his hands already in the sleeves, when his eyes catch something. His own reflection in the mirror. He takes the shirt off again and quickly walks over to the full length mirror. His chest is bare. And it’s not just because he’s not wearing clothes. Nathaniel runs his hand over a perfectly smooth skin where the iron scar used to be. He moves his hand to his stomach that used to be full of straight lines from when his father’s men tried to stab him with knives, but only managed to slash his skin. There’s no gun wound scars. Not the one he got years back and not the one that went through his body taking his breath away forever.

Then his eyes go a little up and he freezes as ice blue eyes are staring at him and light brown, almost red hair strands are falling into his eyes. No. No, no, no, he can’t look like this. If he’s visible to people, someone might see him. His father’s men. He might be in danger. But then again, if he’s dead, no one is looking for him anymore.

After a few minutes Nathaniel finally closes his mouth shut and puts on the t-shirt. As weird as this whole situation is, he starts to believe in it more and more. He opens the wardrobe and looks at the shirts and jackets that are hung in there. He decides on putting on a denim jacket. Even though it’s sunny outside, he feels it’s not as warm as it may seem. He also grabs a beanie and pulls it over his head. He might not be able to do anything with his eyes before tomorrow, but he could at least get a hair dye and change the auburn to something less conspicuous.

Nathaniel finally goes downstairs and leaves the house. He doesn’t have the key, so he hopes Kevin will be in when he returns. The street looks just the way it did when he looked out of the window earlier that day. Still unreal. It’s one of those neighbourhoods that he’s only seen on TV, with perfect houses and perfectly cut green grass growing in their meticulous front yards.. He makes his way to the left. He passes a house where a family is getting into a minivan, probably going on a family trip. Then there’s this older couple, the woman sitting on a porch and having drinks while the man is watering the flowers. The next house is dark and quiet, the owners probably gone for the weekend. He finally gets to a crossroad and makes sure to remember the house at the corner. It has a little tower with lots of teddy bears in the window. Surely a kid’s room. And something weird enough for Nathaniel to remember when he’ll have to find the way back.

He crosses the street and just walks forward. The houses aren’t that interesting, all looking pretty much similar. Some are bigger, some are smaller. Most of them are two story buildings, though.. He stops when he notices a house that is not like the others. It was surely abonded a long time ago. There are trees growing on the property, the fence is almost completely destroyed and the house looks like it’s close to collapsing. The door seems to be rotten, but still intact enough to serve as a barrier.. The windows are gone though, and Nathaniel can see the trees growing inside. Part of him wants to enter, but another part says it could be dangerous.

He notices something in the corner of his eyes. A shadow. Is someone in there?

“Hello?” Nathaniel calls and stays quiet as he waits for an answer. “Hello?!” he calls again, louder this time. Everything is still and quiet. Maybe he imagined it. Maybe it was a bird. Or maybe it was a ghost. Either way, Nathaniel decides to leave this place. He puts his hands into his pockets and starts walking again. Right where the abandoned houses’ grounds end, a park enfolds. It’s a weird contrast. The house is dark in the shadow of the trees but right beyond the fence there is a big square of evenly cut, bright green grass. He takes another glance at the house, noting it’s something he surely won’t forget, before he makes his way down a park path.

The park is emptier than he suspected. He passes by a few families, but mostly walks alone. Maybe it’s because the weather is nice enough that people take their kids to a beach. Is there a beach nearby? Nathaniel stops as he realises he has no idea where he is. Is he near a sea? Is he in the middle of the country? Is he in Texas? He starts looking around but the park is just a park, nothing there helps him with navigating his position on the world’s map. He takes a deep breath and decides to ask Kevin about that later.

While looking around Nathaniel notices an empty playground. Before he can think of it, he makes his way to the swings. As a child he never got a chance to play on playgrounds. First, his father didn’t let him leave the house and then his mother said he was too old for it and he’d bring unneeded attention to himself. But in movies and TV shows Nathaniel saw teenagers on swings. Sure, they usually were there with someone, but at the moment he didn’t have anyone to go with. And he sure as hell wouldn’t want to go with Kevin.

After sitting on the small seat, Nathaniel starts to swing a little. He never lets his feet off the ground, his survival instinct not letting him be reckless enough to do so, but he still enjoys the small blow of air and the feeling of moving back and forth. He holds onto the chain and rests his temple against his fist. Is it really true? Is he dead? As hard as it is to believe, the evidence is there. His skin is clean from any wounds and scars. He saw Kevin healing in front of his eyes. He felt connection to those six people. Maybe he’s on drugs?

Nathaniel feels something leave his nose and quickly moves his hand to his cupid’s bow. There’s something wet on his face. He moves his hand away to look at his fingers. Blood.

There’s a pull on the purple string and a moment later he’s standing in the middle of a cheering crowd. Up on the ring, there’s Matt. There’s blood coming out of his nose like it just happened to Nathaniel. He has a smile on his face. The judge holds his arm up. He won. He’s happy.

Nathaniel can’t help but also smile as he sees Matt up on the ring. When he saw him earlier the boy was a disaster. Nathaniel lets himself clap with the rest of the crowd for a moment, before he goes back to the swing in the park.

He blinks as the bright light hits his eyes. It was darker where Matt was. For Nathaniel at least; Matt was in the spotlight.

Nathaniel gets up and makes his way down the path. About 20 minutes later he’s at the other end of the park and frowns as something shiny catches his eyes. The green string. Nathaniel decides to follow it into the cafe across the street.

The bell above the door chimes when he walks in, but Nicky doesn’t seem to hear it as he wipes the counter, singing along to the song that is playing on the radio, big smile on his face. Nathaniel stops with his hand still holding the open door. He still doesn’t understand why he’s supposed to help Nicky. He seems to be happy all on his own.

There’s a car horn outside and Nathaniel jumps at the same time as Nicky looks up.

“Oh, hi, sorry. I didn’t notice you come in,” Nicky says, quickly reaching over to the radio and turning the volume down a little.

Nathaniel clears his throat as he takes a step inside, letting the door shut behind him. “That’s okay,” he says as he looks up at the menu to see if there’s something he’d be interested in. Coffee sounds good. He’s been sleeping for… well, who knows how long, he could use some caffeine.

“What can I get you?” Nicky asks, looking down at Nathaniel.

Nathaniel takes his eyes off the menu board and looks at Nicky. The first thing he notices is the smile. Always there on his face. Then Nathaniel takes a better look. Nicky is tall, taller than Nathaniel. His hair is dark and curly, a fringe falling into his face a little, but he doesn’t seem to mind it. His eyes are brown, black almost. His skin is rather dark and smooth, he looks hispanic. Even though he’s tall, he seems to be rather thin. Not skinny, but also not very well built. He looks pretty much like any other guy. Unlike Nathaniel, Nicky wouldn’t have trouble blending into the crowd.

“Um, one black coffee, please?” Nathaniel finally speaks. If Nicky noticed him staring earlier, he doesn’t comment on it, just cuts right to making the drink for his client. Nathaniel looks at the other man as he works and tries to catch something about him. Any information at all. But nothing comes. Maybe he can only do it when he is in his astral form, or whatever it is that he does when he’s pulled by the strings? Do people see him then? Unlikely. Renee would surely notice a man appear and disappear in front of her. And Matt wouldn’t miss someone being with him in the locker room.

“Here you go, that’ll be three dollars,” Nicky says, putting a cup on the counter.

Nathaniel reaches to his back pocket and freezes. Shit. He doesn’t have a wallet. He didn’t even think about money when he left. He didn’t think he’d be in a cafe, ordering something.

Nicky watches him for a moment, before he hums. “Don’t worry about it, on the house“, he says, probably seeing the panic on Nathaniel’s face when he realises he doesn’t have a penny on him. Fuck the coffee, he needs a hair dye.

“Thanks,” Nathaniel says either way. “I promise, I’ll come back tomorrow and pay for it,” he adds as he takes the cup.

Nicky waves his hand in dismissal, before he leans on the counter, looking up at Nathaniel. Was he batting his eyelashes? “That’s okay. Cute guys like you shouldn’t pay for their coffee.”

Nathaniel hums, staring at Nicky for a moment. Is he… flirting? The word ‘cute’ strongly suggests it. He starts to get uncomfortable so he mumbles another ‘thanks’ and goes to take a place at a table.

When he sits down, he finally has time to look around the cafe. It looks rather homey, but it’s pretty small and… empty? Nathaniel only now realises that beside him and Nicky there’s no one else in the cafe. He feels a wave of panic going through him, but quickly kills it. Everything is fine. He’s fine.

Nicky seems to go back to his work as Nathaniel sips his coffee, still trying to get some information from Nicky. Maybe he needs to let his soul go free like he did last time? Nathaniel stares down at the cup of black liquid as he tries to focus, but the music coming from the radio and Nicky’s humming make it impossible. After a few minutes he finally gives up and just takes a sip of his drink.

Nicky looks up from the table that he just wipes, before he walks over to Nathaniel, “Do you mind if I sit with you?”

Nathaniel shakes his head. “No, go ahead,” he says. Normally he’d just stare at the other man until he got the hint and left him alone, but now he’s supposed to get to know Nicky and all the other people he has to take care of.

Nicky quickly sits down across from Nathaniel and smiles. “Sorry, as you can see, it’s not a very busy day and I’m bored out of my mind,” he says with a small roll of his eyes. “Sundays were usually pretty slow, but since the opening of Starbucks down the street, it’s like a ghost town in here. I mean, it’s fine, I get to sing a little louder and have a lot of time to clean up, which I love doing, but it gets old after a while, you know?”

Wow, he’s a talker.

“Are you new around here, or did you just get lost? I haven’t seen you before and I surely wouldn’t forget such a pretty face,” Nicky continues.

“Um, yeah, I just moved around here with my brother, Kevin,” Nathaniel explains with a small smile.

“Oh, that’s cool. What about your parents?”

Shit. Kevin didn’t tell him what to say to that. Oh well, he’ll just have to improvise.

“Our mom passed away and our dad travels a lot. He comes by to check on us once in a while and calls at least two times a week to make sure that we’re okay.”

“Oh, I’m really sorry about your mom,” Nicky says, his smile flattening a little.

Nathaniel quickly waves his hand to tell Nicky he shouldn’t worry about it. “It happened a long time ago, I barely remember her.”

Nicky nods slowly, before his smile returns again. “I live with my cousins, so I kind of know your situation. Living without parents, I mean. I finished high school already, but couldn’t go to college, I have to take care of the two. Working here and in a club to make ends meet. But I love them and they’ve been through a lot, they deserve to have a nice home.”

Nathaniel frowns a little as he listens to the other man. He watches Nicky carefully. No, it’s impossible that he and the twins could be family, they look completely different.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry, how rude of me. Nicky,” Nicky says, extending his hand to Nathaniel. Shit. Oh shit. What was the name again? Kevin will kill him if he messes this up. It started with N. Nate? Niall? Oh!

“Neil,” Nathaniel says, taking Nicky’s hand.

And then the weirdest thing happens. Nathaniel isn’t in the cafe anymore, but he isn’t with any of the others either. He’s still with Nicky. Wait, no. He is Nicky!

Nathaniel is sitting on a park bench with another man. Eric. Eric is tall, blond and muscular. And Nathaniel wishes Eric would kiss him. Wait, no, it’s Nicky. Nicky wishes that. Everything is so foggy and confusing. Eric gives him a bright smile, before he leans in. Nathaniel can feel soft, warm lips on his own, but instead of pushing Eric away, he moves his hand up his chest to rest it on his shoulder.

Nathaniel jumps a little on his seat, pulling his hand from Nicky’s grip. The taller boy looks at him with obvious concern. “Is everything okay?” he asks, slowly as if he’s talking to a wild, wounded animal. Nathaniel looks at him with wide eyes before he nods.

“Yeah, um- yeah, it’s just...” Think, Nathaniel! You’re good at lying. It’s your thing. So think! “I just remembered my brother asked me to be home early and help him with dinner. He’ll kill me if I’m late again.” 

He’s actually embarrassed at how bad that lie is.

Nathaniel quickly gets up from his seat, giving Nicky an apologetic smile. “I promise to come back tomorrow and pay for the coffee.”

“Don’t worry about it. On the house, remember?” Nicky replies, giving Neil a bright smile. Two elderly women open the door to the cafe so Nathaniel takes it as his chance to leave. He says a quick ‘thanks’ to Nicky, before he holds the door for the ladies and slips outside, before it could close.

What the hell was that?!

It felt like a memory. But Kevin didn’t tell him anything about memories. He should’ve warned him! Is it going to happen with all of them? He doesn’t want to see their memories. Especially not memories like this one. It was so confusing and Nathaniel doesn’t want to experience it ever again.

Before he knows it, he’s at the abandoned house again. He stops and stares at it for a few seconds, but it’s quiet and unmoving. Nathaniel just sighs and starts moving again. He walks past the house with the tower and teddy bears. Then the empty house. Then the house of the elderly couple. Then the family that left in their minivan a while ago. So this one must be his.

Nathaniel walks to the door and is relieved to find that it’s unlocked. He walks inside and takes his shoes and jacket off. “Kevin,” he calls for the other man.

“In here!” Nathaniel hears the reply and throws his jacket over the back of the couch, before he makes his way towards the source of the voice. Kevin is in the kitchen. The only kitchen he remembers was the one in his house when he lived with his father, but this one is much smaller. Looks much more homey. Everything in the house looks like it was pulled out of a magazine.

“How was your walk, Neil?” Kevin asks from the table, where he’s looking at some papers.

Nathaniel sits down and stares at Kevin for a long moment. His instinct tells him not to trust a stranger, but what other choice does he have? Kevin is his only ally in this weird situation, so he starts to speak. He tells him about the pull and being with Matt again. Tells him about the blood coming out of his nose right before that. He tells him about seeing the string appearing when he was close to Nicky, about talking to him and about that strange thing that happened when he touched Nicky’s hand.

Kevin’s lips are pressed into a thin line, as he stares at Nathaniel with a frown. Something is clearly off.

“What?” Nathaniel asks only, frown forming on his own forehead.

“You shouldn’t be able to do that,” Kevin explains, before he stands up. “I need to contact some guardians about this. There’s pizza in the fridge if you’re hungry,” he says and after Nathaniel blinks, he’s gone.

Nathaniel tries not to panic when he’s left alone in a stranger’s house. But then again, it’s supposed to be his house now, so maybe he should get used to it. As he’s not hungry, he just gets up and makes his way to the only room that he knows, grabbing his jacket on his way to the stairs. When he’s in the room, his room, he throws the jacket over the back of his chair and lets out a long sigh. He has no idea what to do with himself.

Nathaniel looks around until something outside the window catches his eye. There’s someone sitting in the window in the house across the street. Their legs are hanging out, there’s a cigarette in their hand and the smoke is just leaving their mouth. Nathaniel quickly realises it’s not just anyone, it’s Andrew. And the red strong that appears to connect them confirms it.

Andrew seems to notice Nathaniel, as he slowly lets the smoke leave his lungs and then kills the cigarette, pulling his legs back inside and shutting the window close. Nathaniel just stands there for a little while longer and stares, feeling the awful taste of cigarettes in his mouth.

**Author's Note:**

> Why don't you speak, Effy?  
> Does nobody ask you why?  
> It must mean something.   
> Doesn't anybody care?


End file.
